This week we’re exploring why your partner can’t seem to do anything right, and of course by right that means the way that you do it. As Terry Real, couples therapist and creator of Relational Life Therapy says, “you can be right or you can be married.” It’s important to be able to increase your emotional intimacy with your partner, and you can do that by exploring differences in the way you approach things in life, even if your partner is folding the laundry wrong.
Read MoreSex…it’s a topic. This is something that couples will inevitably bring up in our time in couples therapy, some are upfront and ready to dive into it, and for other’s it takes some time to get comfortable discussing this part of the relationship. However, it’s essential that you are paying attention to your sexual intimacy, not so much in how often or how spicy it is, but more so understanding each person’s needs and desires. Satisfaction is key, but that looks different for everyone. This is an introduction to some of the factors that impact intimacy, and stay tuned for future posts getting more specific about how to build sexual intimacy.
Read MoreThis is a dynamic that plays out constantly in therapy when couples get into the great debate and go to World War 3 over the toilet paper, and then want to know who’s right and who’s wrong. Many couples therapists will steer far away from that, but we’re different. We’ll tell you the truth, but it may not be in the way you think. Check it out to find out my answer from working with couples for a decade.
Read MoreToday couples therapist Jaimi Douthit is exploring how to create intentional connection in your marriage. We often hear couples coming into therapy saying they feel like roommates, are around each other all the time but they have no real connection with each other. It’s not going to appear just out of no where, connection is created by being intentional and engaging with your partner. Check out this blog post to get some ideas for how to get started so that you can move from not really even caring if your partner is around to actually missing them and wanted to spend time together.
Read MoreThis week we are continuing our series on effective communication by discussing how to change the four horsemen, those behaviors that are strong predictors of divorce. If we know the behaviors to avoid, we have to do active work to change what we’ve been doing for years. We can’t expect those behaviors to just go away because we now understand how damaging they are; we have to intentionally change them. This blog post explores how to deal with each horseman and ways to go about enhancing your communication skills with your partner.
Read MoreWe’re continuing on this week with our blog series all about effective communication tools. Communication is the number 1 reason couples come to therapy, and a goal in some way, shape, or form for pretty much every couple we talk to. In today’s blog we’re talking about the 4 horsemen, behaviors that have been identified through research to be 96% effective in predicting divorce. Almost every couple engages in these behaviors from time to time, but if they are making a regular appearance in your marriage, that could spell trouble. Today I’ll be reviewing these behaviors and giving some examples, and in the next blog I’ll be exploring some solutions and ways to change these harmful communication styles. Check it out!
Read MoreArguing in front of the kids its a topic we inevitably hear about in our work with our couples therapy clients. In fact, it’s one of the few times couples are actually willing to stop and look at the ways they are talking to each other. People would likely continue along with their same patterns of destructive communication until they realize “oh yeah, this is not what I want my child to think of as the right way to be talked to.” Sky Yeater breaks down why we tend to follow the communicate patterns we engage in, how to do it differently, and how to be good role models for communication to our children. Check it out, and don’t forget to read the other blogs that are part of this series.
Read MoreWe’re continuing in our series on effective communication skills for couples by exploring the losing strategies most people use in conflict, which are completely backfiring on you. These losing strategies have been identified and researched by the creator of Relational Life Therapy Terrance Real, and today our therapist Jennifer Anderson is giving her interpretation and description of how these strategies play out in real relationships and clients we have worked with over the years. We’ve all found ourselves falling into these behaviors and using these ways of dealing with conflict, but the more aware you are the more active you can be in finding new ways to communicate…ways that you will actually be heard and get your needs met. Which of these strategies do you most often engage in?
Read MoreJoin us in our newest blog series all about exploring effective methods of communication with your partner. The number 1 issue couples come to therapy for is “communication". Of course, we need to explore what that means for each couple, but there are some overarching themes and rules that can help everyone learn to communicate better. In today’s post, our therapist Jaimi will review and explain our standard 10 fair fighting rules. As we always say, fighting isn’t the enemy in your marriage, it’s how you fight that’s tearing you apart. How many of these rules are you breaking?
Read MoreAs we continue on with our Therapy Basics blog series, we are finally able to explore what makes good therapy. Good therapy is hard to find, even if you’ve followed the advice we’ve given in the first several parts of our series. You may find the best specialist in the world, who fits within your ideal budget and can see you after work….and when you get there it’s still not quite right. That doesn’t mean the person is a bad therapist, but fit is essential to this work being successful for you. On the other side of things, there’s A LOT of really bad therapy out there. I know, from personal experience, the shared experiences of my clients, and stories from friends and family that not all therapy is created equal. Here is our therapist Jennifer Anderson’s take on the signs of good therapy.
Read MoreWe’re continuing on with out Therapy Basics series this week by explaining what you can expect from therapy. Most people don’t know anything about therapy or the process other than what they’ve seen in movies and TV, and let’s face it-those are usually horrible depictions of what real therapy is like. Sky Yeater, our Counseling Intern, does an excellent job at laying out exactly what to expect from start to finish. Every therapist is different in their style, but generally this process remains the same across modalities and treatment models. Check it out!
Read MoreWe’re continuing on with our Therapy Basics blog series where we’re exploring all the aspects you need to know in getting starting with therapy. This week Jaimi Douthit is covering an important topic as it will be a consideration for every single person who engages with therapy. She is reviewing the pros and cons of both insurance and private pay options for therapy. Although discussing costs of services and money is uncomfortable for many people, it’s also essential to take a series look at the pros and cons of payment options so that you can make the best decision for you. Check it out!
Read MoreWelcome back to our Therapy Basics blog series! Last week we discussed considerations you need to review before going to therapy, and this week we are going over tips you’ll need to help you find an amazing therapist. In my personal experience (as a therapist looking for a therapist), finding the right therapist, or any therapist, can be overwhelming. Check out this post for some ideas on where to get started and recommendations for what to look for.
Read MoreYou’ve been thinking about going to therapy for a while, but you don’t know where to start, what questions to ask, or even what you’re looking for. Do you look through website, asks friends, blind call offices, or drive around town until you see a therapy office with a sign? And after you find said therapist…then what? There’s a lot that goes into the therapy process, and my decade of experience has lead me to understand the intricacies of figuring out how to start therapy and find the right therapist. For this reason, my team and I are starting a blog series to help break everything down into easily digestible (and informational) pieces that are thoughtful and will save you time and frustration. This week we’re starting with 7 things you need to consider before going to therapy. Doing this groundwork is essential, and you’ll be able to start this process with ease and clarity. Read on to learn more.
Read MoreLast but not least, owner of the Center for Couples Counseling Erika Labuzan-Lopez is sharing her love of being a therapist. It’s so rare therapists get the opportunity to share parts of themselves with their clients and the world, but the process and reasons for becoming a therapist are so intimate and ingrained in who we are. Trust me, you want a therapist who loves being a therapist, because this work can be draining and exhausting. Without that love, the day to day work of therapy can take a toll. But for me, my soul is fed because I truly LOVE being a therapist. Read this post to get to know more about my why’s.
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