Do you act childish during fights with your partner? You don't need to answer that, because I know you do. So does every single person on the planet, until they learn how to heal and change. Trauma is powerful, healing from trauma is even more powerful. In couples therapy you can actually heal, right in front of your partner, from the pain of your past so that the childish part of you can finally be taken care of and calm down. Your Adaptive Child does not have to come out during conflict anymore once you learn how to soothe it.
Read MoreThis is a dynamic that plays out constantly in therapy when couples get into the great debate and go to World War 3 over the toilet paper, and then want to know who’s right and who’s wrong. Many couples therapists will steer far away from that, but we’re different. We’ll tell you the truth, but it may not be in the way you think. Check it out to find out my answer from working with couples for a decade.
Read MoreArguing in front of the kids its a topic we inevitably hear about in our work with our couples therapy clients. In fact, it’s one of the few times couples are actually willing to stop and look at the ways they are talking to each other. People would likely continue along with their same patterns of destructive communication until they realize “oh yeah, this is not what I want my child to think of as the right way to be talked to.” Sky Yeater breaks down why we tend to follow the communicate patterns we engage in, how to do it differently, and how to be good role models for communication to our children. Check it out, and don’t forget to read the other blogs that are part of this series.
Read MoreWe’re continuing in our series on effective communication skills for couples by exploring the losing strategies most people use in conflict, which are completely backfiring on you. These losing strategies have been identified and researched by the creator of Relational Life Therapy Terrance Real, and today our therapist Jennifer Anderson is giving her interpretation and description of how these strategies play out in real relationships and clients we have worked with over the years. We’ve all found ourselves falling into these behaviors and using these ways of dealing with conflict, but the more aware you are the more active you can be in finding new ways to communicate…ways that you will actually be heard and get your needs met. Which of these strategies do you most often engage in?
Read More“Why are we snapping at each other and how can we make it stop? This crisis is putting us in crisis, and we’re over it!” I know you’re scared and feeling unnerved about our current and future situation with cover-19. Conflict will increase expectedly over the next few months. Don’t worry, it’s only temporary. Read to learn more about why and watch my in depth video with tips.
Read MoreDo you feel like fighting is the enemy in your relationship? Are you ready to stop fighting all together? My latest post offers some different ways to think about conflict and why your relationship has gotten to where it is. Don't give up, and never stop fighting for your marriage.
Read MoreDisney Pixar's newest movie INSIDE OUT helps give parents and children a tangible way to talk about emotions. But emotions are difficult for everyone, especially when they interject into our relationships. Conflict is clouded by uncomfortable and unclear emotions. Read my post to learn how to tackle your relationship conflict using simple lessons from INSIDE OUT.
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