Therapy Basics: 5 Signs of Good Therapy
Sharing your deepest thoughts and experiences with a stranger can seem daunting at first. You’re opening up to someone who you have never met before about your toughest struggles. It is totally understandable that this can make you feel vulnerable and reluctant to make that call and start therapy. It is honestly one of the bravest things you can do. Instead of sitting with your concerns alone, acknowledge and embrace that you’re a fighter and ready to move forward. You know that you deserve better! You’ll also want to check out the previous blogs in our series regarding learning the basics of the entire therapy process, start to end (7 Things to Consider Before Going to Therapy, How to Find a Good Therapist, Pros and Cons of Insurance and Private Pay Therapy, and What to Expect from Therapy).
It may have taken you a while to come to this conclusion, and now that you’ve started calling therapy offices or even had a few appointments, the hard work begins. You want to make sure you’ve found the right fit, and you’d like to know that you are engaging in good therapy. But if you have never seen a therapist, how do you know if you’re receiving the best treatment? Here are 5 signs that your therapy sessions are productive and provide you the momentum to move forward with your goals.
1. Respect and Connection
“Wow, that felt so amazing”. “I can’t believe the time is already over”. I hear this often at the end of my sessions. It should feel like a release of built-up thoughts and feelings that have been respected by your therapist. That therapy couch that you sit on should feel like a safe place where you're allowed to express yourself openly and securely.
How does this happen? By having a solid connection with your therapist that makes these moments truly healing. The conversation with your therapist should seem natural. When you bring up a past trigger or trauma that you have experienced, you know in your heart that the professional sitting across from you is illuminating respect for what that struggle must have been like for you. You should feel seen and heard!
2. Appropriate Confrontation
Once a firm therapeutic connection has been established, you should feel ready for your therapist to point out things that don’t align with what you are saying. In a sense, gently calling you on your bullshit. Why? Because sometimes we lie to ourselves as a form of protection. We all do this at times, so there is no shame in coming to terms with this reality. It’s what you do with it.
3. Goal Focused
Sure, sometimes you will go to therapy and talk about something that was not the sole focus of why you started therapy in the first place. It happens! To be honest, it happens a lot. I believe this is a sign of a strong connection between the therapist and client. But a good therapist helps you focus on the goals that you have aligned for yourself at this stage of your life. While it feels good to vent about the crazy lady that almost ran you off the road today, a good therapist will make sure that they are honoring your goals by also keeping you on track.
4. Discussion of Symptoms
You should be able to discuss your symptoms openly and feel that your therapist provides a healthy explanation of why you could be experiencing them. My goal is that my clients feel confident in discussing all their symptoms, no matter how strange they think they are. For example, symptoms related to anxiety and depression can look different for some people. If you openly discuss these symptoms, it provides the therapist a history of how you are progressing and events that trigger symptoms. It may not seem significant to you, but it really can add a piece to the puzzle that is key to healing.
5. Honest, but Overall Optimistic
Even when you’re at your darkest moments and the session includes crying for a majority of the time, in your heart, you feel your therapist knows that you have the ability to climb out of this difficult time. They will walk with you with your struggles and empathize strongly with what you’re going through, but they always provide hope through the process.
Good therapy includes many factors that contribute to your success. These qualities mentioned above are meant for you to create a mental checklist of how you are feeling after engaging with a therapist. You deserve the best possible treatment!