Therapy Basics: What to Expect from Therapy
For some, the idea of creating time and space for ourselves and opening up to a stranger can be daunting. There might be cultural or personal stigma or self-judgment. It’s an act of bravery to say “I matter enough to feel understood, to grow, and to heal.”
Today, from the perspective of both a therapist and client, I want to share what to expect when you make that choice. Don’t forget to check out our previous posts in our Therapy Basics series discussing things to consider before going to therapy, how to find a good therapist, and the pros and cons of insurance and private pay.
Attending In-Person and Online Therapy in Texas
Whether it's your first time seeing a therapist or you're a veteran of therapy, the process unfolds similarly. For both in-person and online therapy this is how our process works.
1. Before Your First Session:
The therapeutic process begins before you step foot in an office or sit down on the couch. You'll research, make calls, set up an appointment, and fill out paperwork regarding your concerns and motivations for therapy. Each one of these actions is a big step and should be acknowledged and celebrated. You've started your journey of self-discovery and working on building better relationships already! Prior to your first session, the therapist might have a consultation with you and will read your documentation to formulate relevant points of inquiry.
2. Intake Session:
During the intake session, the therapist will explain their role, approach, confidentiality, and get an in-depth feel for presenting concerns and ask questions to gauge priorities. If you're coming in for couples counseling at our office, the intake session is followed by two individual sessions to understand the unique perspectives, upbringing, attachment, and patterns each person is bringing to the relationship. Then, we resume couples sessions with a more robust scope.
3. Establishing Goals:
After the intake session for individuals and during the "feedback session" for couples, your therapist will help you solidify and prioritize your goals. Once goals are established, they will help you distill those goals and break them down into what we refer to as SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely) objectives. Objectives are the baby steps or bite-size pieces of the goal.
Often, therapists will assign “homework” of activities that will move you toward your goals. This could be journaling, reading, writing affirmations, completing worksheets on values, and relationship strengths, even going to a smash room, etc. If you don’t do your homework you won’t get reprimanded but you likely will stagnate. Most of the work towards goals happens outside of the session.
4. Establishing Connection:
During the next few sessions, you can decide if it's the right fit with this therapist or at this time. At this point, hopefully, more ease, humor, and challenge will be present. As comfort develops, you might be able to joke about your inability to say anything nice about yourself or your desire to prove yourself to your in-laws. Another sign of growth in the therapeutic relationship is your therapist will challenge certain contradictory phrases or beliefs.
These beliefs were adaptive for you once but might not be aligned with your goals or serving where you need to go. You might feel some resistance and discomfort at this stage and that's natural. Change, especially changing deeply held beliefs or habits, is uncomfortable and takes time. You might experience a vulnerability hangover. The therapist is there to hold space for messiness and remind you of your resilience and that growth doesn’t happen in a straight line. Feel free to give feedback to your therapist. They’re learning about you too.
5. The Middle:
This portion of therapy can be a myriad of things. It can be crunchy at times. You might cry, scream, or laugh, and often unexpected topics or directions of conversation will arise. Your therapist will use their discretion on if it feels like the right time to explore that topic or if they bring you back to your intention or goals. Often these unexpected topics arise because they need to be heard and offer new insight and perspective, however unrelated they might at first seem.
Regardless of your presenting concerns or goals, if you are committed to the process and growth, are applying the skills and doing the homework most of the time, even passively reflecting on seeds that have been planted, and especially talking with trusted people about what you’re learning, you will grow exponentially and might be amazed by yourself. Not only that, you might have the opportunity to inspire others in their own journeys.
6. Nearing “Graduation”:
By this point, you might be seeing your counselor every other week and feel really confident in moving toward your goals. You feel a stronger sense of self-awareness and trust that you can figure out how to approach new problems because of what’s worked before. This might be a time of updating your goals list. You’re able to learn new skills now that you’re in a good spot. We learn best when we’ve minimized chaos.
Often, clients are able to integrate and grow quite a bit in this stage and it’s an opportunity to have fun and plan for the future. There might be more humor and less challenge during this stage from your counselor. They are likely sharing your excitement and helping you reflect on what’s working and how to keep it working.
7. Graduation:
Congratulations! At this point, you and your counselor agree you’re in a good place to discontinue sessions based on your growth and self-reliance, and/or support network. You’ve achieved all your goals, even the addendums. Your termination session will involve reflection, proactive planning for contingencies, possible referrals, and resources. Your therapist might also help you come up with a self-accountability system to notice signs of needing help once more.
If you’re fond of your therapist, it’s natural to feel sad about losing consistent contact with them. You can both acknowledge this. This “end” is the beginning of you knowing you’ve got the skills to navigate life and also knowing you have a safety net should you need to return.
A Note about the Therapy Timeline
At Center for Couples Counseling, the duration or number of sessions is adaptive to your needs. Therapy is meant to provide space for you to gain tools for problem-solving outside of the counseling office, and at some point, without the counselor. There is an ongoing dialogue between you and the counselor regarding readiness to have sessions less frequently and eventually when would be appropriate to “graduate”. It also occurs that you might take a break for a couple of years and need to resume due to a new chapter of your life.
The in-person and online therapy process is just as much up to you, if not more so, as it is to the counselor or practice. You might decide it’s not the right time, counselor, you need to re-examine finances, or the counselor might need to refer you to someone else. It’s about finding the right fit at the right time.
My name is Sky Yeater and I am a Counseling Intern at the Center for Couples Counseling. I am passionate about helping couples and individuals pause, evaluate, set goals, and heal. To set up your free phone consultation so we can determine fit, call (832) 827-3288. Our Center serves couples and individuals in League City and Houston, Texas and all residents of Texas online!
Begin In-Person or Online Therapy in League City, TX Today!
At Center for Couples Counseling, we know that starting therapy, whether in person or online, can be a nervous experience for some. Our team is here to provide you with the support and guidance you need to overcome your struggles in therapy sessions. To get started with in-person or online therapy follow these simple steps:
Contact us to schedule a free phone consultation
Meet with one of our skilled therapists
Begin overcoming your struggles to live a stress free life!
Other Services Offered at Center for Couples Counseling
At Center for Couples Counseling, we understand you or your relationship might be facing different challenges. To overcome these challenges our Texas practice offers couples therapy, infertility counseling, postpartum anxiety and depression counseling, therapy for self-care and burnout, and therapy for perfectionism. For more about us check out our FAQs and blog!