We’re continuing on our series where each therapist on the team shares about their niche and why they’ve chosen to specialize in specific areas of therapy. Therapy is vast, and research shows that generalizing in a variety of arenas is not the most effective way to engage as a therapist. Being able to hone in your skills around specific areas helps both the therapist and client, but more important than any skill set is the relationship the client has with the therapist. For these reasons, we find it imperative to share our stories and passions so that people can learn from us, engage with us, and discover how we’ve come to specialize and become experts in certain methods. This week Sky Yeater shares about her journey to working with couples, understanding a variety of relationship styles and configurations, and her love of working through an attachment based lens.
Read MoreOur series on specialization continues, but with a bit of a twist. Brynna, our amazing counseling intern, is at the point in her journey as a therapist where she gets the opportunity to explore working with a variety of clients, and this is what therapists need to do to figure out what they’re really good at and their areas of interest for future clinical work and trainings. Brynna has developed excellent skills so far in working with couples, especially using at attachment theory lens. In today’s blog, she shares her knowledge about attachment styles, how they impact your relationship, and how to figure out which style you fit in. Understanding attachment is a powerful tool in couples therapy, and can be a game changer in relationship therapy.
Read MoreWe’re continuing our deep dive on each therapist’s specialty and why they chose to dedicate their career to working with a specific issue. This week, Jaimi Douthit, LPC-Associate, explores her chosen niche of working with self-care and burnout, as well as the concept of intentionality in guiding our own lives and self-worth. Jaimi is a truly amazing example of a therapist who doesn’t simply teach you a skill and let you go out in the world to see if it works, but while going into the depths of the skill, she sits with you mindfully to understand and guide your intentions. Check out her post to learn how something as simple as making your bed can become a huge part of your self-care routine.
Read MoreOver the next few weeks, our therapists are going to dive deep into their specialities and why they have chosen specific niches or areas to work in. Therapy is a big field with many potential areas to work in. I believe that therapists provide the highest quality of care when they choose to work narrowly, only with clients who they can truly help, and by becoming deeply immersed in developing skills. This week Jennifer Anderson, LMFT-Associate, LPC-Associate is sharing about her love of couples therapy, why she enjoys working with couples, and some of the avenues she has explored with her clients. Check it out and make sure to visit her bio page as well.
Read MoreThis week’s blog is exploring a concept near and dear to our newest therapist Sky’s heart-relational perfectionism. If you are conflict avoidant or notice that you have a negative reaction to the idea of conflict, especially in the form of judgement, you’ll want to learn more about this concept. Is conflict the enemy of relationships? Many researchers would argue no, conflict is good for relationships. With my 10 years of experience in couples therapy, I have to say I agree. Conflict serves many valuable functions in relationships, including enhancing connection and growth. Learn from Sky’s personal experience and how she integrates this concept into couples therapy.
Read MoreWhat do you think the number one problem couples are facing that results in seeking therapy? Communication. By far, couples are looking for help with their communication. But what does that really mean? In therapy, one of the first things the therapist will dissect and help you understand is the dance of communication you both use, especially in times of conflict. This week’s blog covers 3 different demon dialogues-based on the model of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy by Sue Johnson. Understanding these behavioral patterns is essential to discovering new ways of interacting, resolving conflict, and creating meaningful connection. Which pattern does your relationship fall into?
Read MoreIf you’re expecting your partner to know what you need, you’re going to be sorely disappointed. Even we don’t always understand our own thoughts and needs, so how can we expect another person to know what we want at all times. As humans in relationships, we have to put aside the old belief that if our partner really knew us, they’d be able to read out minds. We either need to learn how to ask for our needs to be met with clarity, or stop complaining. We want you to have a great and connected relationship, so we want to help you learn how to discuss your unmet needs with your partner, so that you both end up feeling connected and getting something amazing out of the relationship. Win-win!
Read MoreDo you try to control or change your partner? We all do to an extent. It’s natural to want to change something that bothers you or really gets under your skin, but it’s a losing battle to constantly attempt to control your partner or the relationship. If you want resentments to grow, keep up with the control issues. But if you want to find other ways to work together with this person you love who you chose to be in a relationship with, then you’ll need to find some other strategies. Check out this week’s blog for more ideas!
Read MoreI’ve seen fights play out in my office that couples have over and over again at home. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable, sometimes it escalates, but most of the time it’s actually great! It gives me the opportunity to step in at integral times to help couples finally break out of the cycle they’ve been in and communicate differently. One common thing couples do is complain about characteristics of the other person, and that shows up in day to day happenings. There’s a fairly simple (simple is not easy) way to get your partner to stop complaining about you and actually find more meaning in your relationship. Check out this week’s blog to find out how.
Read MoreWhat should you do if you’re scared to go to therapy? You should go anyway! It’s extremely scary to sit with a stranger and tell them all your deepest darkest secrets and then wonder if they can actually help you or if they’re just going to sit in judgment. Even if you currently go to therapy, it may be hard to show up for certain sessions. Going to therapy requires discomfort to change those parts of your life that aren’t working for you. Check out this post for some helpful ideas about what to do if you feel scared to go to therapy.
Read MoreOne of the trickiest parts of coming to see a couples therapist is sitting with the idea that sometimes the therapist will take sides, and it may not always be in your favor. But honestly, that’s what you need-someone who will tell you the truth lovingly and in a way that helps your relationship get better. Having a therapist who is neutral all the time is nice, but also makes it hard to make real progress. Read our latest blog post to learn more about why couples therapists take sides at times, and the benefits you’ll receive as a client.
Read MoreThis is a question many new callers ask us on the phone when they are first in their search for a therapist. There' are so many kinds of therapy and it can be confusing to know what will work best in your situation. While we are always happy to discuss this (and all your) question in more detail, there are some overarching ideas to think about. Couples or individual therapy, what do you really need?
Read MoreDo you act childish during fights with your partner? You don't need to answer that, because I know you do. So does every single person on the planet, until they learn how to heal and change. Trauma is powerful, healing from trauma is even more powerful. In couples therapy you can actually heal, right in front of your partner, from the pain of your past so that the childish part of you can finally be taken care of and calm down. Your Adaptive Child does not have to come out during conflict anymore once you learn how to soothe it.
Read MoreHow do you connect with you partner in the middle of raising young kids? Most couples struggle with building and maintaining a satisfying relationship during these crucial years when the kids are young and need a million things from us. But if you let your relationship die or the intimacy fade, you’ll be in real trouble. We find that simplicity is the best solution to disconnection, find ways to communicate your needs in a clear and direct way to your partner. Plug into creating intentional connection, which looks totally different when you have a year old baby or 3 kids under 10 than it did before kids. Instead of fighting the situation or pretending it’s different, acknowledge your new context and work with it instead of against it.
Read MoreWe’ve explored some reasons why sex is so difficult and the barriers that make engaging harder, and now we’re talking about how to make improvements in your sex life. It can help to understand the factors that make sex physiologically or psychologically more difficult (brakes) and things that really get your engine revving (accelerators). The key is for both partners to understand their own and each other’s turn ons and offs to change the context and set yourselves up for success to create an amazingly satisfying sex life.
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