This week’s blog is exploring a concept near and dear to our newest therapist Sky’s heart-relational perfectionism. If you are conflict avoidant or notice that you have a negative reaction to the idea of conflict, especially in the form of judgement, you’ll want to learn more about this concept. Is conflict the enemy of relationships? Many researchers would argue no, conflict is good for relationships. With my 10 years of experience in couples therapy, I have to say I agree. Conflict serves many valuable functions in relationships, including enhancing connection and growth. Learn from Sky’s personal experience and how she integrates this concept into couples therapy.
Read MoreI’ve seen fights play out in my office that couples have over and over again at home. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable, sometimes it escalates, but most of the time it’s actually great! It gives me the opportunity to step in at integral times to help couples finally break out of the cycle they’ve been in and communicate differently. One common thing couples do is complain about characteristics of the other person, and that shows up in day to day happenings. There’s a fairly simple (simple is not easy) way to get your partner to stop complaining about you and actually find more meaning in your relationship. Check out this week’s blog to find out how.
Read MoreThis is a question many new callers ask us on the phone when they are first in their search for a therapist. There' are so many kinds of therapy and it can be confusing to know what will work best in your situation. While we are always happy to discuss this (and all your) question in more detail, there are some overarching ideas to think about. Couples or individual therapy, what do you really need?
Read MoreDo you act childish during fights with your partner? You don't need to answer that, because I know you do. So does every single person on the planet, until they learn how to heal and change. Trauma is powerful, healing from trauma is even more powerful. In couples therapy you can actually heal, right in front of your partner, from the pain of your past so that the childish part of you can finally be taken care of and calm down. Your Adaptive Child does not have to come out during conflict anymore once you learn how to soothe it.
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