Losing Strategies that are Keeping You Stuck in Conflict in Your Relationship

We’re continuing in our series on effective communication skills for couples by exploring the losing strategies most people use in conflict, which are completely backfiring on you. These losing strategies have been identified and researched by the creator of Relational Life Therapy Terrance Real, and today our therapist Jennifer Anderson is giving her interpretation and description of how these strategies play out in real relationships and clients we have worked with over the years. We’ve all found ourselves falling into these behaviors and using these ways of dealing with conflict, but the more aware you are the more active you can be in finding new ways to communicate…ways that you will actually be heard and get your needs met. Which of these strategies do you most often engage in?

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What the Heck are Fair Fighting Rules?

Join us in our newest blog series all about exploring effective methods of communication with your partner. The number 1 issue couples come to therapy for is “communication". Of course, we need to explore what that means for each couple, but there are some overarching themes and rules that can help everyone learn to communicate better. In today’s post, our therapist Jaimi will review and explain our standard 10 fair fighting rules. As we always say, fighting isn’t the enemy in your marriage, it’s how you fight that’s tearing you apart. How many of these rules are you breaking?

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Therapy Basics: 5 Signs of Good Therapy

As we continue on with our Therapy Basics blog series, we are finally able to explore what makes good therapy. Good therapy is hard to find, even if you’ve followed the advice we’ve given in the first several parts of our series. You may find the best specialist in the world, who fits within your ideal budget and can see you after work….and when you get there it’s still not quite right. That doesn’t mean the person is a bad therapist, but fit is essential to this work being successful for you. On the other side of things, there’s A LOT of really bad therapy out there. I know, from personal experience, the shared experiences of my clients, and stories from friends and family that not all therapy is created equal. Here is our therapist Jennifer Anderson’s take on the signs of good therapy.

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Therapy Basics: What to Expect from Therapy

We’re continuing on with out Therapy Basics series this week by explaining what you can expect from therapy. Most people don’t know anything about therapy or the process other than what they’ve seen in movies and TV, and let’s face it-those are usually horrible depictions of what real therapy is like. Sky Yeater, our Counseling Intern, does an excellent job at laying out exactly what to expect from start to finish. Every therapist is different in their style, but generally this process remains the same across modalities and treatment models. Check it out!

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Therapy Basics: Pros and Cons of Insurances and Private Pay Therapy

We’re continuing on with our Therapy Basics blog series where we’re exploring all the aspects you need to know in getting starting with therapy. This week Jaimi Douthit is covering an important topic as it will be a consideration for every single person who engages with therapy. She is reviewing the pros and cons of both insurance and private pay options for therapy. Although discussing costs of services and money is uncomfortable for many people, it’s also essential to take a series look at the pros and cons of payment options so that you can make the best decision for you. Check it out!

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Therapy Basics: How to Find a Good Therapist

Welcome back to our Therapy Basics blog series! Last week we discussed considerations you need to review before going to therapy, and this week we are going over tips you’ll need to help you find an amazing therapist. In my personal experience (as a therapist looking for a therapist), finding the right therapist, or any therapist, can be overwhelming. Check out this post for some ideas on where to get started and recommendations for what to look for.

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Therapy Basics: 7 Things to Consider Before Going to Therapy

You’ve been thinking about going to therapy for a while, but you don’t know where to start, what questions to ask, or even what you’re looking for. Do you look through website, asks friends, blind call offices, or drive around town until you see a therapy office with a sign? And after you find said therapist…then what? There’s a lot that goes into the therapy process, and my decade of experience has lead me to understand the intricacies of figuring out how to start therapy and find the right therapist. For this reason, my team and I are starting a blog series to help break everything down into easily digestible (and informational) pieces that are thoughtful and will save you time and frustration. This week we’re starting with 7 things you need to consider before going to therapy. Doing this groundwork is essential, and you’ll be able to start this process with ease and clarity. Read on to learn more.

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Why I Love Being a Therapist: Get to Know Erika Labuzan-Lopez

Last but not least, owner of the Center for Couples Counseling Erika Labuzan-Lopez is sharing her love of being a therapist. It’s so rare therapists get the opportunity to share parts of themselves with their clients and the world, but the process and reasons for becoming a therapist are so intimate and ingrained in who we are. Trust me, you want a therapist who loves being a therapist, because this work can be draining and exhausting. Without that love, the day to day work of therapy can take a toll. But for me, my soul is fed because I truly LOVE being a therapist. Read this post to get to know more about my why’s.

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Why I Love Being a Therapist: Get to Know Jaimi Douthit

Clients so rarely get insight into their therapist’s motivations, passions, and why they became a therapist in the first place, but in our opinion it’s vital to becoming an excellent therapist. Skills and techniques are essential to doing good work as a therapist, but the why’s of becoming a therapist is what makes the real changes in the room. Next up in our series is Jaimi Douthit, Licensed Professional Counseling Associate. Jaimi is a wonderful therapist and person to sit with. She is comforting and nonjudgmental, while challenging your unhealthy thought and behavior patterns in a caring way. She shows up fully for her clients, and you can see that in her blog post sharing why she loves being a therapist. Check it out!

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Why I Love Being a Therapist: Get to Know Jennifer Anderson

This week we are continuing our series of getting to know more about why each of our therapists absolutely LOVES being a therapist. Learning interventions and therapeutic models is important, but over the years since I (Erika) have been a Supervisor and practicing clinician have come to see that to do really good work, you have to love it. Each therapist I work with at my practice has to not only demonstrate excellent skills, but they have to radiate being completely in love with the art and science of therapy. Next you’ll meet Jennifer Anderson, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapy Associate. Jennifer’s clients adore working with her as she engages her clients in meaningful introspection, provides constructive feedback, and is willing to walk alongside the hardest moments of her client’s lives. Check it out and get to know Jennifer!

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Why I Love Being a Therapist: Get to Know Sky Yeater

The Center for Couples Therapy website goes into detail about how we work, our methodology, and expectations for therapy, and with this new blog series we wanted to go deeper in sharing who our therapists are and why they really LOVE being therapists! We are passionate about refining our craft, being constant learners, and growing in our skills-but the most important thing you can know about us is we are truly honored and enjoy doing what we do best-providing quality therapy. This week you’ll meet our counseling intern Sky Yeater. Sky is wise beyond her years, an engaging person to sit in a room with, and open to having organic experiences with her clients. Read this blog post to learn more about her why’s-why she does what she does, why she tends towards certain styles, and why she loves being a therapist.

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Giving Yourself REAL Self Care for the Holidays

I bet you do a lot of self-care…like showering? Yes, we think showing is important, but it’s not usually what we’d consider true self care and more of maintenance or basic hygiene. Important and necessary, yes, but taking good care of yourself, probably not. But you can turn even your showers, or any small moment of the day, into intentional self care in no time. Don’t get bogged down with all your holiday obligations, and instead take in a deep breathe, zoom out, and take a whole new approach to taking care of yourself this holiday season and upcoming year.

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Finding Gratitude in Your Partner's Flaws

Sometimes the parts of my husband that irritate me the most are the things I’m actually the most grateful for, when I take a second to think about it. In this blog post, I explore some of the science and humanity components that lead people to notice each other’s flaws and zero in on them. In actuality, it’s far more helpful to focus on finding gratitude for our partner’s flaws. Check out this post to see how and why.

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Fun and Easy Strategies to Diffuse Tension and Reduce Awkwardness During the Holidays

The holidays are a time for celebration, gatherings, and joy. But for most of us, holidays can also bring about awkwardness, stress, tension, activation of painful memories, and grief. It can be difficult to navigate through our relationships on the holidays. Sky Yeater, our Counseling Intern, shares several fun and easy strategies to bring some interaction and new communication to your gatherings this holiday season. Check out this blog post and give some of these strategies a try. What could it hurt?

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'Tis the Season for a Code Word

Communication is key in relationships, and being able to talk freely and clearly will be essential as we move into the holiday season. There will be times you or your partner may need some time to take a break and calm down, or need a rescue buddy at a family gathering or holiday party. Check out this blog by couples therapist Jaimi Douthit as she describes a tool she uses with clients ALL THE TIME. It’s amazing simply yet successful in improving communication for couples in multiple settings. Give it a try!

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