Giving Yourself REAL Self Care for the Holidays

 

“I self-care all the time…” but do you, really? 

Real self-care goes beyond what we often recognize as “self-care”. You know what doesn’t count as real self-care? Maintenance! Just showering, a massage, going to the gym, getting nails or hair done… these things rarely count as self-care. Self-care goes far beyond the societal expectation to maintain our bodies. “Self-care is hard to keep up with… and around the holidays? No way!” Great point!! Self-care IS super hard to keep up with and the holidays come with even more challenges! Luckily, real self-care doesn’t have to go hand in hand with this massive sacrifice of time or energy.

When we talk about real self-care, we are talking about setting boundaries AND maintaining them, committing a few extra minutes of recovery to our normal shower time, sticking to a budget, being good to our bodies on the daily, practicing breathing or muscle relaxation techniques instead of just passing out from exhaustion or implementing a night-time routine to give ourselves a moment to process and recover from our days. It means being particularly kind to yourself in an intentional manner. 

But there’s so much I have to do during the holidays…

Around the holidays, real self-care may look like saying, “no” to a holiday event that is going to stretch you too thin or sticking to cards instead of presents so that your budget stays on track. Holidays can often bring out feelings of grief or loss and creating a boundary to keep your mind and body healthy is perfectly okay to do. Boundaries can make people uncomfortable, ourselves included. That is totally fine – sometimes it takes time to process and accept a boundary. 

A fun reality about real self-care – it doesn’t have to cost money or take a ton of your time! Some of my go-to ways to self-care are things I can fit into my everyday life without adding anxiety or exhaustion. Some of my favorites include making my bed every morning, intentionally enjoying some time to breath under warm shower water, dedicating a few minutes every morning to cuddling my pets, stepping outside and appreciating the sunshine, normalizing saying “no” when I need to, drinking plenty of water throughout my day, completing a version of my skin care routine in the evenings and listening to rain as I relax for bed. None of these things are particularly hard but they do take intentional effort and THAT is what differentiates these things from me just surviving life. I make my bed in the morning because 1.) I feel accomplishment starting my day with finishing a task- even if it is a basic and simple one and 2.) After a long day, I feel really good walking into an inviting sleep space that requires nothing from me other than pulling back some blankets and getting comfy! These are TWO moments each day that I benefit from simplistic and intentional self-care. 

It can be that easy?

That is it! I do things for myself that solely make me happy and give me a feel-good moment to enjoy. When I am intentional about giving myself this effort throughout my day, I am able to clearly see how it makes a difference in my day. I feel good after drinking water throughout my day, I feel good going to sleep with clean and moisturized skin, I feel good benefitting from boundaries during the holidays, I feel good telling my dogs and cats that they are handsome and beautiful dogs and cats, I feel good giving myself extra time in the shower to be intentional in my recovery. Sometimes, yes, I fight a battle in my head against exhaustion… but I have NEVER regretted giving myself the limited time and energy that these small acts of real self-care take out of my day.

We give of ourselves every-single-day, especially during this time of the year. We give ourselves to our family, our relationships, our friendships, our jobs, societal expectations, strangers on the street… give of yourself to YOU – allow YOU to feel the benefits of your efforts and energy day to day. You are deserving of loving yourself. You have a right to set boundaries and say “no” if you need to. You are worth the time, energy, and intention. Go out and be good to you!

My name is Jaimi and I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor-Associate specializing in couples therapy, anxiety, perfectionism, and self-care. I can help you find ways to communicate more clearly, let down your guard, and learn how to be authentic self in your relationship. If you’d like to learn more about how I work, call our office at (832) 827-3288 to schedule a free 20-minute phone consultation.

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