Creating Space For Each Other and Thriving in Positive Regard
I can’t even count how many times couples have told me that they were just too busy to connect between sessions. The hustle and bustle of daily life is an easy place for relationships to fall into bland routines that prioritize productivity over connection and intimacy. Yet, the healthiest relationships are not built solely on togetherness; they thrive when each partner has room to grow as an individual while remaining deeply connected as a couple.
Creating space for each other doesn’t mean drifting apart—it means intentionally nurturing a balance between closeness and individuality. Paired with the practice of positive regard, which centers on viewing your partner with respect, empathy, and appreciation, this approach can transform the dynamics of a relationship.
How do we create space in a relationship? How do we foster positive regard within our relationship? Let’s start there!
Creating space is about honoring your partner’s need for autonomy while nurturing your shared connection. It’s not about detaching or withdrawing; rather, it’s about giving each other the freedom to recharge, explore personal interests, and maintain a sense of individuality. Here are some practical ways to create space in your relationship:
1. Communicate Your Needs Clearly
Guess what? Open and honest communication is key! Share with your partner what you need to feel balanced, whether it’s alone time, time with friends, or dedicated time for hobbies. Don’t forget to be equally open to listening when your partner expresses their needs!
2. Establish Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries ARE NOT barriers; they’re tools to ensure mutual respect. Discuss what boundaries look like for both of you, such as uninterrupted work hours, personal routines, or digital detox times. Check out our blog on boundaries to learn more on the differences between boundaries and rules!
3. Celebrate Alone Time
Encourage each other to embrace alone time without guilt or fear. This isn’t a sign of disconnection—it’s an opportunity to reflect, recharge, and return to the relationship with renewed energy.
4. Support Each Other’s Growth
Acknowledge and encourage your partner’s personal growth. Whether it’s pursuing a career goal, exploring a new hobby, or engaging in self-improvement, supporting their journey strengthens your bond. It feels good to be encouraged and supported!
Totally great, giving space is huge but it only gets better when we also encourage positive regard within our relationship. Positive regard is the lens through which you view your partner—with respect, empathy, and appreciation. It’s the practice of focusing on their strengths and contributions rather than their flaws or mistakes. How good does that sound?! Here’s how to cultivate it:
5. Focus on the Positives
It’s easy to get caught up in the daily irritations of life (kids, jobs, pets ,extra curricular activities and family), but intentionally noticing and appreciating your partner’s positive qualities can shift your perspective. Make it a habit to express gratitude regularly. A simple, “I am really appreciating this time with you - I am feeling really connected and loved…” can move mountains in someone’s heart.
6. Practice Empathy
When conflicts arise, pause and try to see things from your partner’s perspective. Empathy builds emotional safety and reinforces your commitment to understanding each other. Especially when we are actively doing things differently, empathy goes a long way.
7. Validate Their Feelings
Validation doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything your partner says or feels, but it does mean acknowledging their emotions as real and important. Simple phrases like, “You’re feelings are hurt and I can see why you feel that way,” can be incredibly powerful and intimate.
8. Invest in Small Acts of Kindness
Small gestures of care—like making them coffee in the morning or leaving a thoughtful note—show your partner that they are valued and loved. These moments of connection contribute to a culture of positive regard. My favorite thing is to see the ripple effect form, where each partner is meeting the other’s needs in small and beautiful ways and each just feeds off of their feelings of being loved.
When couples create space for each other and practice positive regard, they cultivate a relationship where both partners feel respected, understood, and valued. This balance allows for deeper intimacy and connection because it’s rooted in mutual respect and individual freedom. Achieving this balance isn’t always easy. Life gets busy, emotions run high, and old habits can interfere. That’s where intentionality comes in. By committing to small, consistent changes—like setting aside time for meaningful conversations or supporting each other’s personal goals—you can transform the dynamics of your relationship.
Creating space and fostering positive regard are not one-time efforts but ongoing practices. They require self-awareness, communication, and a willingness to grow both as individuals and as a couple. If you’re feeling stuck or uncertain about where to begin, remember that help is available. Couples therapy provides a supportive space to explore your needs, improve communication, and build the skills to thrive together. Every relationship is a journey, and every step you take toward balance and understanding brings you closer to a stronger, more fulfilling connection. Start today by taking one small action to create space or show positive regard—and watch how it transforms your relationship.
My name is Jaimi Douthit and I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor at the Center for Couples Counseling. I love working with couples and individuals who are ready and motivated to make changes in their lives and relationships, who can handle feedback and encouragement, and engage in using the tools I teach in therapy outside of the therapy room. At the Center for Couples Counseling, we specialize in couples therapy, infertility counseling, postpartum mood and anxiety disorders, self-care and burnout, and perfectionism. We help couples and individuals in the League City and Houston areas in person, and all residents of the State of Texas online. Call us at (832) 827-3288 to schedule a free phone consultation.
Begin Couples Therapy in League City, TX
We know relationships take a lot of hard work. But your relationship is important and deserves the effort. At Center for Couples Counseling we want to help you and your partner get back on the right track. To get started with in-person or online couples therapy follow these simple steps:
Meet with one of our skilled couples therapists
Begin to see positive changes in your relationship
Other Services Offered at Center for Couples Counseling
At the Center for Couples Counseling, we understand you or your relationship may be facing different challenges. To help you work on yourself and your relationship, our Texas practice offers individual therapy, infertility counseling, postpartum anxiety, and depression counseling, therapy for self-care and burnout, and therapy for perfectionism. For more about us check out our FAQs and blog!