The Power of Gratitude in Your Relationship-Why Thankfulness Matters
The longer you are in a relationship, the easier it is to take each other for granted. It’s not something that you intended, it’s just a byproduct of expectations and feeling comfortable. Unfortunately that minimizes the frequency of expressing gratitude for our partner. We all have different, mutually agreed on expectations for making our world go round in our families. Maybe your partner is expected to do dinner on the weekdays and you're expected to do outdoor maintenance of the yard on the weekends.
While these are predetermined tasks and roles, it may feel like those efforts don't need to be acknowledged. This is a missed opportunity. If we formulate a climate where you both actively look for ways to appreciate each other, it creates a stronger emotional connection. A solid connection leads to less hightented conflict and more grace for one another during challenging times. I have highlighted below three awesome benefits to expressing gratitude in your relationship.
Enhanced Communication
When you feel like you are truly seen by someone through gratitude, you feel a sense of belonging. Our partner’s acceptance and safe reception contributes to communication that is more respectful and freeing. As a result, you can express your true feelings/thoughts with trust and openness; there’s no longer a need for the wall and defense mechanisms you’ve used in the past because expressions of gratitude solidify your partner’s recognition of your contributions.
When your partner regularly communicates admiration for you, it’s easier to open up and be vulnerable with your partner. It also takes the temperature down in general, leading to less tension and lower likelihood that something small will explode for no reason. Communication is the most common reason I hear from couples who want to begin therapy. One of the best things you can do in your relationship is to start cultivating an environment of appreciation.
Strengthen Trust
When your partner consistently expresses recognition for what you have done to contribute to the household or speak their love language, building trust becomes safer and easier. They see who you are, they listen to your needs, and they show up with a grateful attitude. Gratitude has the ability to make your loved one feel respected and this can lead to a strong foundation of trust.
Builds Resilience and Long Term Commitment
If gratitude is expressed on a daily basis, the most trying times in your life can feel a lot less intense with a firm foundation of feeling appreciated by your partner. Part of being in a relationship is desiring to help support one another, but it’s easy to overlook the efforts our partner makes as our busy lives move forward.
Thankfulness involves slowing down, intentionality in noticing the positive behaviors and qualities about our partner, and voicing those observations and feelings out loud. We often take for granted the small things in our relationship and daily lives. Small expressions will make a huge difference in the overall tone of the relationship. Give thanks to the behaviors that you really want to see more of in your relationship; positive reinforcement is extremely effective.
Don’t get caught up in assuming your partner knows they are appreciated. Say it! You can always do an experiment this holiday season to see if voicing gratitude out loud makes a difference in your connection, behaviors, sentiment, and intimacy. We’d love to hear updates from you about how it went!
My name is Jennifer Anderson and I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapy Associate and a Licensed Professional Counselor Associate with the Center for Couples Counseling. I love working with couples who are looking to build strong and secure relationships, who are ready to take accountability for their own actions, and who are willing to make changes and increase vulnerability to grow closer and enhance the connection in their relationship. I help couples and individuals in the League City, Kemah, and Houston, Texas areas, and residents of Texas online. Call (832) 827-3288 to schedule a free 15 minute consultation. I’d love to help!
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