The blamer: the person who isn't afraid to ask the questions, who's comfortable hearing the uncomfortable, and sometimes lacks sensitivity. When you're going through infertility, you'll be met with many different responses. People won't always say the right things, but understanding their intentions can help diffuse the situation and guide you both in moving forward in a supportive way. It may feel like you can't lean on anyone, like no one understands you, but if you let someone in they can be there for you. In this post, I talk about ways to deal with a blamer and turn hurtful conversations into helpful ones.
Read MoreContinuing the series, this week I talk about the third type of responder-the "existentialist". The existentialist is the everything happens for a reason kind of person, helpful in many ways, hurtful in others. I have some concrete strategies for how to deal with an existentialist and help them meet you where you are, as well as honor your feelings at the present time.
Read More"At least you are able to spend time together as a couple now before you have kids." This comment has been repeated over and over to people going through infertility, as well as "it's going to be ok" "it'll work out, just relax." In this post I discuss my second type of well-intentioned but a little off base responder: the "minimizer". I share what minimizing does, how these people are trying to help, and strategies for how to deal with them.
Read MoreEven if you aren't going through infertility, I bet you've come across a "fixer"...that person that is already 10 steps ahead and into problem solving mode before you've even finished your sentence. Fixers can be great supporters and awesome friends to have by your side, but there are situations where they're just plain hard to deal with. I'll give you some concrete tips on how to deal with fixers to avoid hurt feelings, sadness, and prevent resentments.
Read MoreHave you ever asked your therapist if you're allowed to curse in therapy? Or apologized when you started crying? I encourage my clients to express themselves the way they need to in that moment. Anything else is guarded and gets in the way of therapy. In my latest post I talk about some other reasons this is important and why being your authentic self will help.
Read MoreDo you feel like fighting is the enemy in your relationship? Are you ready to stop fighting all together? My latest post offers some different ways to think about conflict and why your relationship has gotten to where it is. Don't give up, and never stop fighting for your marriage.
Read MoreEver wonder how Snicker's bars can make you a better parent? Have you seen that commercial, "you aren't yourself when you're hungry?" I'll tell you about a technique that will help you to stop and think before you start yelling or disciplining your kids in a way that doesn't feel like you. It's easy to lose your patience at times, but this is a way to remember to HALT before you say something you can't take back.
Read MoreIt's National Infertility Awareness Week and the theme is "Start Asking". I hope to increase awareness of issues faced by the infertility community, but also would like to help those who find themselves in a supportive role learn how to start asking the right questions and begin having meaningful conversations around this painful topic. Read here to learn more.
Read MoreEver wonder how you should be measuring progress in therapy? How will you know if therapy is working? What are the signs? After all, you don't want to be in therapy forever, so you need to know when it is working, when it's worked, and when it might be time to look at another therapist or treatment option. This post explores some things you will notice as a client if therapy is successful.
Read MoreIt's really easy to get overwhelmed as a parent. Your kids are driving you crazy, you have no time to take care of yourself, how is the house going to get clean? In this post, I share 3 easy exercise to reduce overwhelm and help you feel more confident and in control as a parent. You're doing a great job, and these tips will help you recognize that.
Read MoreEver wonder what happens in your relationship after you bring the baby home? Isn't it blissful? In many ways, it's the most wonderful time. In other ways, there are some challenges to deal with. But in the end, there are wonderful opportunities to grow as partners and parents. Read my post to learn more.
Read MoreIn this post, I offer some techniques and tips for how to remain calm and keep from losing your temper during stressful parenting situations, such as when your toddler is having a tantrum in the grocery store. These are the moments in which we feel helpless, defeated, and like failures as parents. The truth is, all parents have moments of struggle. Use those moments as opportunities to connect with others, and follow the steps to show yourself compassion. This is one topic that will be covered at my upcoming parenting skills workshop. You'll want to check that out too!
Read MoreAfter getting my first article published on PsychCentral "Infertility Sucks: 4 Ways to Accept Support from the People Who Love You," I was so excited to share more about the subject. It's not an easy topic to talk about, and when you're going through it you may find that you push others away. It's hard to be vulnerable. I'll explain some common reasons why it's so damn hard to accept help, and once you're ready, you can learn how to accept it.
Read MoreYou've probably heard the buzz words "spicing up your marriage." This implies that having a predictable or routine relationship is a negative thing that you need to change by adding spontaneity or new activities. However, research shows that couples are happiest when there is a solid and meaningful friendship. Friendship is built slowly over time through mundane, regular, every day interactions. I'd posit that you can forget about spicing things up, and instead focus on building that rock solid foundation.
Read MoreValentine's Day may be focused on sex, but if you're going through infertility sex is the last thing you want to do on your holiday. In my post, I offer some practical ideas for how to take the pressure off of making V-Day about sex at the end of the evening, and more about the true intention, which is reconnecting with your partner and increasing your intimacy.
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