Repairing Emotional Intimacy: Connecting on a Deeper Level
As a couples therapist, I am intrigued as I sit with my clients as fellow humans and observe how disconnected they are. Both partners struggle with where they find themselves; they want to build emotional intimacy but can’t seem to figure out how. If what they’ve tried hasn’t worked, what will?
No worries - we love helping partners repair emotional intimacy and even more, help them learn how to maintain it!
Too often we find couples operating with surface level communication, surface level intimacy, and surface level connection - why? The deeper level of those places can be really uncomfortable and truly hard when we don’t have the tools to maneuver through them.
Finding support is an amazing first move in this journey and we are happy to process this experience with you. There is no shame in calling a therapist; we all deserve to experience happiness, love and trust within our relationships and that shit doesn’t always come easy.
A major piece of connecting with your partner, especially when it comes to the depths of emotional intimacy, is - you guessed it - communication. When you get better at communicating with your partner, it’s almost hard to NOT increase emotional intimacy within the relationship. The reality is that if you are communicating in a healthy and effective way, the likelihood that you are able to hear your partner’s needs and communicate your own in a way that the other is fully receiving increases in a big way. This means you can feel safe and connected and we LOVE that!
As you prioritize connecting in a deeper way with your partner, you have to step into a place of vulnerability and take accountability for your part in why you’re not connecting and engaging in repair. This means you’re spending time in self-reflection, processing your own contributions, or lack thereof, to a deep level of emotional intimacy within the relationship and what needs to be done differently to build that connection back up. This is way easier to talk about than to do so it is totally okay if it feels hard.
Showing your partner empathy and patience is key in this repair process because they are going to make a mistake and so are you… because we are human and humans make mistakes. Having a base layer of protection made of empathy and patience makes the rest of the journey far more manageable. Knowing that making a mistake in the repair process will occur and can be openly discussed allows us to reduce the tension around the repair itself, providing flexibility and giving us room for a deep breath. This is a great way to increase feelings of trust.
Don’t forget that you need to be honest and express your individuality and true needs to your partner. There is no point in saying we are working towards building or repairing emotional intimacy if we aren’t even being our authentic selves. That is a ton of wasted energy.
The journey of repairing and maintaining emotional intimacy in a relationship is undoubtedly challenging, but it’s a journey worth taking. Feeling stuck in disconnect with our partner is a gross feeling so that desperation to repair that emotional intimacy is real and painful. We take this process step by step, giving ourselves the same patience and empathy that we are going to be showing our partner. Don’t shy away from the discomfort; embrace it as an opportunity to grow closer and further deepen your bond with your partner. Happiness, love, and trust in a relationship are deserving goals, and the path to achieving them might require some guidance. Call us today to get your first session scheduled.
My name is Jaimi Douthit and I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor at the Center for Couples Counseling. I love working with couples and individuals who are ready and motivated to make changes in their lives and relationships, who can handle feedback and encouragement, and engage in using the tools I teach in therapy outside of the therapy room. At the Center for Couples Counseling, we specialize in couples therapy, infertility counseling, postpartum mood and anxiety disorders, self-care and burnout, and perfectionism. We help couples and individuals in the League City and Houston areas in person, and all residents of the State of Texas online. Call us at (832) 827-3288 to schedule a free phone consultation.
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We know relationships take a lot of hard work. But your relationship is important and deserves the effort. At Center for Couples Counseling we want to help you and your partner get back on the right track. To get started with in-person or online couples therapy follow these simple steps:
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Other Services Offered at Center for Couples Counseling
At the Center for Couples Counseling, we understand you or your relationship may be facing different challenges. To help you work on yourself and your relationship, our Texas practice offers individual therapy, infertility counseling, postpartum anxiety, and depression counseling, therapy for self-care and burnout, and therapy for perfectionism. For more about us check out our FAQs and blog!