Do Therapists Take Care of Themselves? My Husband Weighs In
As you can imagine - being married to a therapist can be…I don’t know…super fun, enlightening, supportive and happy. However, it is also just as exhausting, frustrating and difficult as any other romantic partnership might be.
As a therapist, I have focused a considerable amount of time learning and utilizing different tools and techniques that I can then take into session and share with my clients. These tools and techniques definitely find their way into my own relationship and my therapeutic journey as a whole has been a significant piece of my relationship with my husband (as we met when I was in school). He has had a front row seat in watching me grow and develop as a therapist.
One of the topics I have prioritized is self-care and although I know about the general topic of self-care, the benefits of self-care and how self-care can keep us and our relationships strong…that does not mean that it comes naturally to me. I have to work hard to maintain a decent level of self-care and my husband, sometimes, has to nudge me back onto my self-care track when I have strayed.
Everyone in your household is affected by whether or not you are maintaining a decent self-care routine. As a new mom, this is something that has been thrown front and center for myself and my husband and I got curious: how have the ups and downs of my self-care journey, over time, actually impacted my husband and our relationship? What better way to find out than to ask the source!
As I thought about what to ask, I couldn’t help but think of some of the wild looks we get when I introduce myself to people and they learn that I am a therapist. Being married to a therapist that works with couples must be difficult sometimes, and it made me even more interested in hearing my husband’s point of view.
So, I put a few questions together and sat down with my husband.
Q: How do you know I am falling behind in my self-care routine?
A: You usually tell me and your mood is more shut-down. You are also harder on yourself and have more negative self-talk. I think you also lose motivation to get things done. There can also be an increase in tension in our conversations.
Q. How do you know I am doing well with my self-care routine?
A: I know you are doing well with your self-care routine because you are more on top of your day to day chores and errands and you are more cheerful. Our interactions are more laid-back and you clearly feel more accomplished. We are more of a team as parents and partners when you are more committed to your self-care routine.
Q. How has my self-care journey affected your self-care journey?
A: You made it easier for me to self-care because you believe it is important and make it a priority. I like that we are able to relax and de-stress together and it helps me feel more in control of myself. It is easier to take that time for myself when you also do, so that I don’t feel bad asking you to take the baby while I focus on my self-care time because I have helped you do the same. You showed me how different self-care can really look day to day.
Q. How did you respond to my focus on self-care?
A: I welcomed it. I like when you really work on something specific because we are able to really utilize it in the house together.
Q. If you could change or adjust something about our self-care routines, what would it be?
A: I want to make our self-care routines happen more often, I want to plan it out better and I think investing in childcare more often would be helpful.
After hearing my husband’s responses to these questions, I immediately thought of how helpful this conversation could be for some of my clients to have! Asking my husband just 5 questions has given me a new energy around my self-care routine. I feel supported and excited.
Finding more activities for my husband and I to share while building up our self-care routines sounds like a fun and intimate way to ensure our connection is strong. This exercise also really helped me look at my self-care routine from a different perspective which is incredibly helpful.
Connecting with our partner is a forever task and having these “touch base” conversations can be both helpful and comforting. Knowing I have his continued support with this goal assures me that when I am extra tired or discouraged, I have a teammate to depend on. And my partner can depend on me too. Prioritizing self care not only keeps us going, it’s essential in creating a beautiful connection.
My name is Jaimi Douthit and I’m a Licensed Professional Counseling Associate at the Center for Couples Counseling. I love working with couples and individuals who are ready and motivated to make changes in their lives and relationships, who can handle feedback and encouragement, and who engage in using the tools I teach in therapy outside of the therapy room. At the Center for Couples Counseling, we specialize in couples therapy, infertility counseling, postpartum mood and anxiety disorders, self-care and burnout, and perfectionism. We help couples and individuals in the League City and Houston areas in person, and all residents of the State of Texas online. Call us at (832) 827-3288 to schedule a free phone consultation.
Begin Self Care and Burnout Therapy in Texas
Burnout can affect anyone if we’re not careful. At Center for Couples Counseling, we want to provide you with the support and guidance to help you learn self care techniques to prevent burnout from happening to you or from happening to you again. To get started in self care and burnout therapy follow these simple steps:
Meet with one of our skilled therapists
Begin to work on yourself and begin your healing journey
Other Services Offered at Center for Couples Counseling
Our team understands you might be facing different mental health challenges. To best accommodate you, our Texas practice offers both in-person and online therapy. Our team of therapists specializes in individual relationship therapy, infertility counseling, postpartum anxiety and depression counseling, perfectionism counseling, affair recovery and infidelity counseling, and couples therapy. For more about us check out our FAQs and blog!