Creating New Traditions as a Couple: Building a Stronger Relationship Through Shared Experiences
In the chaos of daily life - work deadlines, grocery runs, figuring out which laundry pile is clean - it’s easy for relationships to lose a bit of their shine. But don’t worry; holiday traditions as a couple are here to bring that magic back! Unlike routines, which can sometimes feel a bit mundane, holiday traditions are more like dessert, something sweet you both look forward to. Whether it’s an annual tree-decorating night complete with hot cocoa and cheesy Christmas music, or a slightly-botched attempt at baking holiday cookies, traditions bring a sense of joy and intentionality that remind you why you’re such a great team.
Holiday traditions provide a sense of warmth and stability, adding a layer of connection and commitment to your relationship. They’re special because they’re designed by you, for you and shaped by your unique bond. Over time, they become cherished memories, giving you a set of shared experiences that belong to you alone. Psychologists even say that traditions help couples by strengthening communication, enhancing emotional resilience, and creating a sense of shared identity. And in a world that can feel chaotic, having little “anchors” like these can be just what you need to keep your relationship centered during the festive season.
Step 1: Reflect on What Matters to Both of You During the Holidays
The best traditions are born out of shared interests and values, so start by talking about what you both find meaningful this season. Maybe you both love the cozy warmth of holiday lights, the nostalgic smell of cookies baking, or enjoy braving the cold for outdoor winter activities. Understanding what you both value can give you a starting point for creating holiday traditions that feel authentic.
This is a fun brainstorming session that gives you both the chance to create something unique to you.
Ask each other questions like:
Which holiday activities make us happiest together?
Are there holiday traditions from our own families we’d like to incorporate or reinvent?
What do we most look forward to each season?
Not only is this a wonderful bonding exercise, but it’s also a great chance to learn more about each other’s quirks and holiday wishes, even if you think you already know them well.
Step 2: Create Small Holiday Rituals
You don’t need a grand annual event to have meaningful holiday traditions—sometimes, small rituals become the most cherished. These simple traditions can make the holiday season feel festive, connected, and cozy without requiring a huge commitment.
Here are some ideas to inspire you:
Holiday Movie Marathon Night: Pick a night in December to watch a few of your favorite holiday movies. Settle in with hot chocolate, popcorn, and a cozy blanket for a night of seasonal classics.
Holiday Decorating Day: Pick a day to decorate together, complete with festive music, mulled cider, or hot chocolate. Take it a step further and make it a tradition to buy one new ornament every year that represents a favorite memory.
Gift-Wrapping Evening: Make a night of wrapping presents together! Light some candles, put on holiday tunes, and enjoy the fun (and sometimes chaotic) art of wrapping gifts as a team.
Step 3: Embrace Big Holiday Traditions
Holiday traditions that come around just once a year mark the passing of time and give you something to look forward to. Over time, these annual traditions become highlights of your season and create a sense of magic in your relationship.
A few ideas for yearly holiday traditions include:
Holiday Baking Extravaganza: Pick a day each season to bake together, whether it’s cookies, pie, or gingerbread houses. Even if your cookies don’t look like they came from a magazine, the memories and laughs are the best part.
Christmas Eve Celebration: Create a ritual just for Christmas Eve, like enjoying a candle-lit dinner, taking a late-night walk to see the lights, or reading a favorite holiday story together.
Year-End Memory Jar: Throughout the holiday season, jot down favorite moments from the year on slips of paper, then read them together on New Year’s Eve as a way to reflect and celebrate the year you’ve shared. In our house, we use our grateful jar and just dump and read every New Year!
Step 4: Get Creative with Micro-Traditions
Holiday traditions don’t have to be grand to be meaningful. Small, daily habits can feel just as significant, adding a touch of holiday magic to your everyday routine.
Here are a few micro-traditions to consider:
Daily Advent Treats: Give each other little notes or small treats each day leading up to the holidays as a DIY Advent calendar.
Morning Pep Talks: During the busy holiday season, start each day with a quick “holiday pep talk” or share what you’re most looking forward to that day.
Winter Walks Together: If you’re in a cold climate, make it a tradition to bundle up and take a short walk together on snowy days to enjoy the fresh air and holiday lights.
Step 5: Stay Flexible and Embrace Change
As your relationship grows, so will your traditions. The holidays can be stressful, so remember that staying flexible is key to keeping traditions enjoyable rather than a source of stress. If a tradition no longer feels relevant, adapt it! The goal is to enjoy each other’s company, so embrace the chance to make new memories, even if they look a bit different each year.
Step 6: Celebrate the Traditions Unique to You
It’s easy to feel like your holiday traditions should look like those of other couples, but remember that your relationship is unique. Whether you’re creating traditions that are quirky, simple, or unusual, what matters is that they’re meaningful to you both. Cherish the traditions you create together, and let each one be a celebration of the bond you’ve built.
Creating holiday traditions as a couple doesn’t require elaborate plans or tons of time. Start small, focus on things that bring joy to both of you, and let them grow naturally. These shared experiences become like threads weaving through the holiday season, strengthening your relationship and making it uniquely yours. So go ahead and build some holiday traditions, sprinkle in a bit of laughter, and celebrate this special season together.
If you need help brainstorming, communicating, and learning how to put these ideas into action in your relationship and family system, we’re here to help!
My name is Jaimi Douthit and I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor at the Center for Couples Counseling. I love working with couples and individuals who are ready and motivated to make changes in their lives and relationships, who can handle feedback and encouragement, and engage in using the tools I teach in therapy outside of the therapy room. At the Center for Couples Counseling, we specialize in couples therapy, infertility counseling, postpartum mood and anxiety disorders, self-care and burnout, and perfectionism. We help couples and individuals in the League City and Houston areas in person, and all residents of the State of Texas online. Call us at (832) 827-3288 to schedule a free phone consultation.
Begin Couples Therapy in League City, TX
We know relationships take a lot of hard work. But your relationship is important and deserves the effort. At Center for Couples Counseling we want to help you and your partner get back on the right track. To get started with in-person or online couples therapy follow these simple steps:
Meet with one of our skilled couples therapists
Begin to see positive changes in your relationship
Other Services Offered at Center for Couples Counseling
At the Center for Couples Counseling, we understand you or your relationship may be facing different challenges. To help you work on yourself and your relationship, our Texas practice offers individual therapy, infertility counseling, postpartum anxiety, and depression counseling, therapy for self-care and burnout, and therapy for perfectionism. For more about us check out our FAQs and blog!