Holiday Stress and Your Relationship: Strategies for Staying Close During the Challenging Times
Holiday Stress Our Therapists Hear About in Couples Therapy Everyday of the Holiday Season
Holiday stress is no joke! The idea is to get the family together and spend magical quality time reminiscing and connecting. The problem is you are blending personalities that range from rational to irrational combined with unrealistic expectations. What could go wrong? I hear a lot of my couple clients discuss how one side of the family are planners and the other side will try and make holiday plans the week of. Then, let’s add in potential custody agreements that complicate matters.
Let’s discuss some preventative behaviors that can shield your relationship from feeling the potential side effects of dealing with holiday stress.
Proactive Planning
In my opinion, waiting to start holiday planning the month of is too late. It leaves potential for some family members to get their feelings hurt if they were not included or considered in your planning. By the way, that doesn’t mean you're going to please everyone. But it does set the precedent that they matter, and you are engaging them in the process.
I have found that the family members who are less rigid in this area are the ones I enjoy spending the most time with. It is hard as hell to manage 30 plus people's plans. Also, my husband and I will generally have a conversation about different scenarios prior to reaching out to our families. It definitely feels like we are more equipped to handle what comes our way.
Intentional Quality Time
Take the holiday’s out of it-being intentional about quality time is important in a non-stressful month. Add the holidays, and it’s more like a code red, make it happen or there will be an explosion! Okay, I’m being dramatic, but you get my point.
An example of this would be to make sure you do your weekly date night together. Be intentional about making that connection happen. When you feel a stronger bond with your partner, it is so much easier to navigate this potentially stressful time. I can’t speak for all couples, but I have noticed that my first years of marriage definitely felt more “you vs. me” in this area. Once we realized that we could work together, it was night and day difference.
Grace, Fa la la la la, Kindness, and Curiosity
The planning and getting together with family members that are challenging can bring moments we are not proud of. Unfortunately, our teammate is usually the recipient of that misplaced anxiety. Try your hardest to give your partner some grace in these times. Hold them accountable for unhealthy communication, but also try to be curious about what’s really going on. This could look like “Hey, I notice you’re giving short responses and sighing when I ask you about logistics, how are you feeling?”
The holidays bring all kinds of emotions. We miss loved ones who have passed. It highlights the relationships that were cut off and unresolved. Let’s not let planning details overwhelm time that we should spend together that builds our love for each other. Keep the relationship with your partner a top priority and work together with your teammate to have that grounding safe place to return to over and over again when you get stressed about the holidays. And if you need a refresher in how to lean on each other for support and good communication, call your couples therapist for a session!
My name is Jennifer Anderson and I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapy Associate and a Licensed Professional Counselor Associate with the Center for Couples Counseling. I love working with couples who are looking to build strong and secure relationships, who are ready to take accountability for their own actions, and who are willing to make changes and increase vulnerability to grow closer and enhance the connection in their relationship. I help couples and individuals in the League City, Kemah, and Houston, Texas areas, and residents of Texas online. Call (832) 827-3288 to schedule a free 15 minute consultation. I’d love to help!
Begin Couples Therapy in League City, TX
We know relationships take a lot of hard work. But your relationship is important and deserves the effort. At Center for Couples Counseling we want to help you and your partner get back on the right track. To get started with in-person or online couples therapy follow these simple steps:
Meet with one of our skilled couples therapists
Begin to see positive changes in your relationshipOther Services Offered at Center for Couples Counseling
Other Services Offered at Center for Couples Counseling
At the Center for Couples Counseling, we understand you or your relationship may be facing different challenges. To help you work on yourself and your relationship, our Texas practice offers individual therapy, infertility counseling, postpartum anxiety, and depression counseling, therapy for self-care and burnout, and therapy for perfectionism. For more about us check out our FAQs and blog!