Where Do You Feel Minimalism? The Burden of Emotional Clutter
We’ve explored the idea that our physical, mental, digital, and relationship clutter are likely symptoms of other problems: are you ready to take a look at those bigger issues? Emotional clutter, or baggage as many people like to call it, is likely the root of many of our other problems. Dealing with our scary feelings can be that ugly monster we don’t feel strong enough to face, and not working through those emotions gets manifested all over our houses, in our thoughts, online, in our habits and behaviors of consumption, and in our relationships with people, things, and finances.
Emotional Clutter
I’ll be the first to admit that most of my life I’ve held the belief that emotions are icky. I think most people carry around some pretty difficult emotional baggage, like family resentments, regrets, blame, guilt, doubts, fear, and anger. The truth is these emotions are not actually icky, they’re just extremely uncomfortable for most of us. As humans, our instinct is to avoid things we perceive as uncomfortable and threatening, so overtime we end up carrying around a heavy load of emotional clutter.
It’s easy to deflect from scary emotions and cope with our feelings in other ways, like consuming, shopping, binging on tv, and a million other strategies that temporarily fill the void and ease our pain. In fact, the other types of clutter are likely symptoms of our deep seated emotional clutter. We feel pain or discomfort, fill our lives with things we don’t need, clog our phones with emails and texts of things we need to do, peroose on social media and start thinking of all the ways our lives could be better.
Emotions Are Not Contained in Our Stuff
It will take some time once you begin your minimalism journey to start tackling your emotional clutter, but I imagine you’ll recognize it pretty quickly, especially as you begin giving things away or dealing with sentimental items. What I find is that people associate items with emotional turmoil or attachment, and it becomes difficult to let go of certain things.
Begin the process of asking yourself why. Why is this thing stirring something up for me, and why does that hold significance in my life? And remember, the emotion you are experiencing is not contained within the item, but activated by the item. There are other ways to access those emotions so that you can learn to cope and tolerate them than by holding onto items or being resistant to release sentimental objects.
Sentimental Items
Saving something that was important to a loved one who has passed away or something that has been in the family is ok, as long as you are getting what you need from that item. I find those things tend to bring up memories or create space for sharing or thinking about the positive qualities of that person. But what if those items are taking up unnecessary space in your home, are painful to look at, or continue to go unused year after year?
Getting Started
This is a personal decision that you must wrestle with and be open to evaluating for yourself. Only you will know what to keep and what to allow in for the future. I want you to be aware that all the other forms of clutter are symptoms of us generally skirting around our real issues and being afraid to show up fully in our lives. And I don’t want that for you anymore.
As you’re working through some of your clutter (in any of these areas), I want you to notice what comes up emotionally. You can write it down if you want, or you can say the emotion out loud if that helps. And then, the assignment is simple, but not easy. I want you to just sit with whatever that emotion is. Feel it in all the ways you are able to experience it. Understand that whatever item you are looking at and considering letting go, you are also able to let go of your doubts, and fear, and shame. That thing is not completing you or destroying you, it simply exists. Feel the heaviness of the weight, and then feel the lightness as you release the thing, whatever it is, into the world. You are whole, and full, and enough…with or without your stuff.